


Broken coward

by lovesynlikeasin



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Hate, M/M, Mentioned Abuse, Mentioned suicide, One Shot, Pain, Self-Hatred, abused justin foley, bryce is a rapist asshole, idunno, mentioned rape, probably, rape victim justin foley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-29 15:29:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10856835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovesynlikeasin/pseuds/lovesynlikeasin
Summary: Alex realizes one thing as he let Justin Foley into his home.





	Broken coward

This whole shit was just one giant mess, and Alex didn’t know what to even think of it. Justin was here on his doorstep. Fucking begging to come in like some hobo. Except Alex wouldn’t let him look like a hobo so he let him in. Why. Why would he take him in. 

Making room for him, he laid out all the necessary things for him, ignoring the boy’s effort to say that just some space on the floor was more than enough for him. Nor did he need a pillow or blanket. He could sleep on the floor with nothing. Hell, apparently Justin could sit in a corner and sleep. Alex brushed him off, waving a thin, elegant hand at the boy. “Not even Bryce would treat you that bad.” Alex didn’t really think before he said those words. Then again, when did he actually think through what he said. For better or worse. “Not anymore.” mumbled Justin and Alex was fairly certain that those words weren’t supposed to reach his ears. Raising an eyebrow, staring the boy’s way, he didn’t question his reply. 

The reply though, it didn’t leave his mind. Then again, Alex mind was never off, always analyzing everything, far too hard, far too much. Justin fell asleep but Alex was staring hard at him, trying to understand those words. Perhaps it was his father’s DNA, the need to solve the mystery. Right now, the mystery was Justin’s words. Why? 

Alex started thinking about the friendship between the rapist and Justin. As he was thinking, he realized. He had never even seen those in a fight. Not even a proper discussion. Actually, Justin was always following Bryce like a lost puppy. Not before the whole ‘i’m not your bitch’ thing. The tapes, they were fucking up shit. The dynamics of the groups. Suddenly Justin seemed to dare more. Ripping himself away from Bryce. And it was more than all the shit that was going down because the suicide. It was if that was a trigger. 

Alex wasn’t stupid. He had seen the marks, y’know. The ones on Justin. The boy showed up beaten each and every day. Nor did he expect everyone to come from reliable families where family abuse didn’t happen. Also, it helped that his dad had shared a bit too much from work that one time, basically laying it out black on white that some guy from the team was living with abusive parents. Actually, by thinking about it Alex was ashamed of himself. He, admittedly, felt a joy at that. Justin was a douchebag so he deserved it. Now, with all this shit going down, he knew that perhaps if the boy hadn’t been exposed to all of that, he wouldn’t of been a douchebag. Probably why he let him stay to be honest. 

Though, there was something more to this all. Maybe it was because Alex now could see a Justin whom looked fucking peaceful. Which looked calm. Truth to be told, Alex had never seen him like that before, not even at Bryce, which, ironically enough, apparently served to be Justin’s safe house. Wait. Safe house? Why exactly did Bryce Walker happen to be the one to give him shelter? Why was that fucking asshole a safe house for anyone? That was, if he even was. 

With all these thoughts, Alex fell to sleep. Restlessly, nevertheless. Suddenly he was awake. Someone was moving in his house. Glancing at his alarm clock. Fuck, it was 6 am. Jesus. What the fuck? 

It dawned on him that it was Justin, Justin shoving what little belonging he had in his bag. “What the fuck dude, it’s 6am?” he could hear the sleep still in his own voice. “Just sleep, i’ll soon be out.” was the, uh, soft reply? God could even Justin Foley sound that soft? Alex pulled himself up in a sitting position, yawning, before looking at Justin. “Why?” he simply questioned. 

What he received was a puppy dog look. A beaten, hell, fucking broken look, from the other boy. “I’ll be gone before you know it. Thanks for letting me stay, dude.” Alex shook his head, reaching out his thin, pale arm, grabbing the bag, pulling it out of Justin’s hands, dropping it to the ground. “Sleep, Justin.” Alex more or less commanded, and a muffled “eh, okay, Stan-Alex.” and fuck it, Justin looked out of place. Look confused, scared even. How did people treat this boy, if a simple word of sleep got him like that? Then it dawned on him. It hit him like nothing else. Justin’s safe house, Bryce Walker, was probably not that kind. What the hell did he do to him? Because this was not a man who was used to kind gestures and care. Which you obviously should find in a safe house. It explained everything. Why Justin did anything on command, why he protected that bastard, why everything with Jessica went the way it did. Everything, it was a puzzle fitting together like nothing else and Alex found it to be a tragic picture he wished, selfishly, he never solved. 

Justin sat down, staring at Alex. Alex could see how his entire body wanted to react. To act out. To sneer, to put up all the defenses he usually used. “Sleep, Justin. You’re safe.” the blond almost ate his words, for once, because the reaction from Justin was bad. He snarled at him, pulling himself up fast as lighting. “Fuck you.” he sneered, and Alex was quick to make a hand motion, telling Justin to be quiet. “That’s what you want, right? To be safe somewhere? Because you fucking ain’t, right? Not from anyone. Not from mommy, not from daddy.” Alex spat fiercely, however managing to keep his voice at a minimum. He was sure in his words, and he wanted to get a reaction out from Justin. Provoke him properly. Justin looked as if he was about to explode, eyes shining with anger. He looked like an angry pit bull. Justin was seconds from attacking, Alex was sure. After all, that was how Justin knew how to do things.  
“And not from Bryce.” Alex knew he was taking a chance here. Of course, it could've been the tiredness making him think the way he did. It was a risk he was suddenly willing to take. Pft, suddenly? Alex was tempting faith and he knew it, and he didn’t fucking care. 

As the blond saw the other boy break. Right before his eyes, almost struggling to keep up, he knew he hit a weak spot. He knew he was right, the pieces were correct put together. Alex felt sick, for so many reasons. Fuck, this world was a fucked up place. “That’s why you couldn’t say anything, right? Right, Justin, that’s why you’re a fucking coward, right?” Alex was getting angry, at himself, at Justin, at Bryce, at everyone. The school, the whole fucking world. Everything was a fucking mess and he felt the urge to kill someone, something. “You’re a fucking coward because what the fuck can you do? He got you, don’t he?” Justin’s eyes were still shining, but the anger was replaced. Completely gone. Replace with a pain with no end. Tears were threatening to fell from the crook of his eyes. Alex was feeling the urge to cry too. It was pathetic. 

“I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t want it to get worse. I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t want it to go back to how it was. He let’s me sleep on the couch now, he doesn’t touch me whenever we’re alone. If i’m good, he’s good. I’m sorry, for everything. I’m a fucking coward, and I wish i knew how to do something about it, but i don’t.” The boy was sobbing and Alex felt like throwing up. It was sick. The thin boy got up on his feet, and did the only thing that felt right. He placed his hands around Justin’s shoulders, pulling him into a hug, letting the boy cry onto him. “I can’t promise much, but you’re safe here.” the blond mumbled against his ear. It was strange, Alex felt as if he was the big one, not the scrawny kid, holding onto a child. Justin was shaking, and it hurt. It fucking hurt. All of this. Why did the world punish them all the way it did? Why did the world fuck them over like this? Why did no one stopped Bryce before? Why did nobody see how he ruined Justin? Then maybe several lives could've been spared. But no, no one ever seemed to care. No one seemed to even try. Maybe Hannah did the thing? The easy way out? He found himself envying her, to be honest. Just let it all go.


End file.
